Conscious Creation:

I've been thinking about life a lot lately. I tend to do that. I was thinking about how we can get sucked into an undercurrent, kind of like the undercurrent in the ocean, and end up in a different place than we intend or desire.   Then we don't even realize it until we are out in the middle of the ocean thinking, "How did I get here?"  For me that undercurrent can take many forms from societal norms/expectations like: "You have to accomplish this to be successful" to "A beautiful woman looks like x,y, and z." Or, as I witnessed when watching HGTV recently, "This is a total gut job. I don't think I could live with a kitchen with laminate countertops." I laughed at this... thinking maybe I should contact the teachers in my school district and help them update the list of survival necessities: food, shelter, water, clothing, and granite countertops.  However, as much as I laughed, I'm as guilty as the next person of being embarrassed by my laminate countertops. I hustle to earn money, and ask my husband to do the same, in order that we can make these 'critical' updates someday.  But when it really comes down to it, that's not what I want. I want more quality time with my family.  I want to cook with them on our perfectly functional countertops, and listen to music, and dance and sing.  I want my husband to have the energy to dance and sing, rather than being exhausted from working so hard. 

This got me to thinking that I really want to consciously create my path, steer it into joy, and buck those undercurrents. I want to own my authentic self. I also want to be conscious about what I say to myself about myself past, present and future. While I can't always control my circumstances in life, I can control my response to those circumstances. When I focus on my physical pain, my pain tends to increase, and when I focus on a positive outcome, I feel better mentally and physically.  Same with stress, insecurity, etc.

It was this whole string of thoughts that inspired my latest drawing, "Keeper of the Heart" (picture coming soon to my portfolio.) The armored nature of the wings is born from the things I've felt a need to protect myself against and am finding the strength to expand in spite of. The heart symbolizes passion, love, and joy. My kneeling posture represents humility because I find humility crucial in learning to fly...kind of like U2's song Mysterious Ways with the lyrics, "If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel." I am steering a heart as a symbol of conscious creation and steering into joy.  I realized that my heart only has me to direct it in life.  I can either abuse it or cherish it.  I think I'll choose cherish and only ride those undercurrents if they are going to aid me in getting to my goals.